What is We!? Understanding the WeWork IPO

American political discourse undoubtedly peaked in 1952 when a Mississippi legislator with the wonderfully Dickensian name Noah “Soggy” Sweat, delivered the “If-By-Whiskey” speech. Reading the WeWork S-1, it kept coming to mind.

If by WeWork you mean the capital inferno; the overhyped infernal machine that will only get shareholder funds for as long as Vision Fund I needs to show a high enough IRR to close Vision Fund II; the bizarre multidimensional Flying Spaghetti Monster of nested C-Corps, LLCs, and LPs, all rife for abuse by its controlling shareholder; the commercial real estate operator whose delusions of tech unicorn grandeur have justified a temporary valuation premium and a permanently high level of overhead, I am against it.

If by WeWork you mean a company that can invest in the multi trillion-dollar commercial real estate market and consistently generate better unit revenues and faster breakevens than competitors, while continuously extending its offering into residential real estate, health and wellness, employee benefits, and more; a company whose CEO is a champion salesman and a stellar dealmaker, who can ensure that your high multiple as a buyer is your low cost of capital as a long-term shareholder; then I am for it.

That is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise.

(Full disclosure: I have a dinner bet with a friend on where WeWork will price its IPO. Other than that, no interest besides curiosity)